The Simple Mind is a newsletter to help you reduce overthinking and boost self-confidence.

One story for you

There was a guy in my primary school called Rodolphe. He and I were both pretty good at the game of school, he naturally became a good competitor to compare myself (you’re never too young to let comparison steal joy away).

Whenever I’d get an assignment back, my mom would ask what grade Rodolphe got.

Every time he scored better than me, I’d feel a disappointing ‘not good enough’ feeling drag my shoulder down.

Ironically, I hated school and thought it was a pretty stupid system, meaning I did not see grades as a reflection of one’s value. But somehow if he graded better than me, I’d feel less valued.

So when I had to find a name for the part of me that occasionally criticizes me with a good old ‘not enough’, Not Enough Rudolph was an obvious choice.

Every single founder I talk to (and frankly most coachees), eventually bring up their version of Not Enough Rudolph in our session. “I feel like I am not doing enough, I could do much more”.

Except for the occasional time management tweaking, in most situations, they’re doing more than enough. If anything they waste time doing unimpactful tasks to soothe the guilt of not doing enough.

So this week, let’s talk about strategies to help you deal with your inner Not Enough Rudolph.

Let’s dive in!

Orianne

Reading time: 5min.

4 Strategies to deal with your ‘Not Enough’ Rudolph

Stop justifying Rudolph’s behavior

You’d love to feel content about your work and life, but you also don’t want to overindulge, I get it. What if feeling content with where you’re at resulted in a decreased growth mindset?

No one wants that. Rudolph is a gatekeeper of your overindulging self.

Well, that’s what we tell ourselves.

Just like perfectionists hide behind their desire to get better, we justify Rudolph Not Enough’s speech as a driver. Thanks to him we do more.

And to some extent it’s true, but what’s the driving force?

With Rudolph, it’s guilt.

Imagine a world where you feel content and still aim for more, not from guilt, not from wanting to prove your worth, but simply from a desire for novelty and improvement.

This world only exists if you tune down Rudolph.

Stop ignoring Rudolph, it’s rude

The problem with our inner critics is how harsh and targeted they can be. They make us uncomfortable, feel uneasy, and a bunch of feelings that we don’t always affectionate.

They sometimes resonate with moments of our lives we’d rather not think of too much. So we try to dismiss them, change our mind, focus on something positive…

Any part of your inner critic you ignore will come back knocking.

You have to acknowledge these thoughts and normalize them to take away their power. You have to sit in and think about how ‘not doing enough’ makes you feel.

Rudolph comes in to show you an emotion. The only way out of an emotion is through, if you look away, it will only grow bigger in the background.

Don’t ignore Rudolph when he shows up. Welcome him, acknowledge how he makes you feel, listen to what he has to say. But don’t consider the information is coming from you.

You’re not Rudolph

I’ve talked about this before when working with imposter syndrome.

If a friend told you you’re not putting in enough hours or doing enough for your business, you’d likely push back. You may take in a few feedback but overall, you’d share with them how packed your schedule is, how necessary the gym and rest are for a clear mind.

You would never agree with everything they say, especially if it’s false, and delivered in a highly emotional manner.

So why do you agree with Rudolph?

Giving that part of yourself a name (you don’t have to stick to Rudolph, though it rhymes), and having that inner dialogue as you would with a friend you care about, allows you to disassociate from your inner critic.

It gives you space to choose what part of that feedback is useful, and which part is just an overload of hyper emotion. It allows you to process the emotions without feeling overwhelmed.

You then get into a healthier and healthier relationship with Rudolph, which means less guilt, and a much quieter mind.

Not enough compared to what? Compared to who?

Rudolph tends to make us forget our goals, and focus on what we ‘should’ do AKA what other people seem to be doing, or what we believe society thinks we should be doing.

If your ‘Not Enough’ comes from comparing yourself to others, or ideas others have, bring the focus back to you vs you. Look into your past progress, and where you want to get.

Rudolph is showing you something you may want to improve, maybe behind the guilt, there’s an element or two of truths and you may want to act on it.

‘Not enough’ focuses on intangibles.

It’s this blurry idea of wanting better but with no clear action.

Make it clear.

Set yourself up for success by deciding where to improve, the how, and the what.

Make the why of the improvement about your goals and desires, not about guilt and Rudolph.

This is how you free yourself from ‘Not Enough Rudoplh’, you work with him, not under him.

Thank you for reading,

If you’re new here, welcome! I’m Orianne, I share weekly tools to help you reduce overthinking and boost your self-confidence.

A bit more about me: I coach brilliant humans who perform very well but want to improve their relationship with themselves (their minds). I am a chocolate addict, live by the beach, and always read several books at the same time (currently The Little Prince, and The Almanack of Naval Ravikant).

If you enjoyed this newsletter, you can read the previous editions and subscribe here. If you want to improve your mindset, I am launching a 1:1 coaching program for Founder’s mindset. Check it out here.