The Simple Mind is a newsletter to help you reduce overthinking and boost self-confidence.

Happy Friday!

Ever found yourself seeking advice, and being disappointed by the advice you received? This happens when you know the answer, but don’t trust yourself to listen to it.

This week let’s talk about cutting through the noise and listening to the only answers that matter, yours.

I appreciate you for reading,

Orianne

Reading time: 3 min.

Where are the answers you’re seeking?

Storytime

My first job at Airbnb was to grow Airbnb Experiences in MEA (activities offered by passionate hosts to discover a destination and its culture).

Part of growing the market meant being in touch with hosts, who were incredibly passionate business owners, with a great story, knowledge, and skills to share, but very often suffered from a lovely imposter syndrome.

It made sense, sharing their magic was fairly natural to them, and we’ve established that effortless effort feels weird. Even though they got incredible reviews, they’d still doubt themselves.

Realization #1: how little we are connected to our magic and superpower.

People overlook their superpowers despite external validation (reviews), so I guessed the validation had to come from within. But, how?

Fast forward to 2020, I left Airbnb, thinking I’d join a start-up in ops. It was the pandemic and I kept running into business owners seeking advice to grow or rather maintain their business in uncertain times.

I dipped my toe into SMB consulting, but more often than not, my ideas were simply a validation of what business owners already had in mind or an idea they had forgotten about.

Realization #2: we know the steps to take to achieve our vision, we get confused by the noise.

Because the steps don’t always make sense to other people (normal, it’s your vision, not theirs), we get lost in the noise (others’ ways of doing, unsolicited advice, self-doubt, comparison…).

Plus, we doubt our superpowers, so how can we trust the answers coming from them?

The consulting calls created time and space to cut through the noise, and my ideas matching theirs helped them trust themselves more (but not in a sustainable way).

This is why I switched from consulting to coaching.

Realization #3: all we need is self-confidence and a container to explore ideas.

A soundproof container to reduce the noise, and hear our ideas.

The long game is increased self-confidence, which will grow your container, and the short game is asking the right questions.

You’re not clueless or stuck, you just lack a sound-proof space

Very often we don’t seek advice, we seek validation, and or perspective.

You have the answers, create the right conditions to hear them.

That’s what we do in coaching. I create a space for brilliant minds to unfold their thinking.

I mirror what they say, to highlight loopholes and inconsistencies, and I help them remember their superpowers.

Occasionally, I’ll throw a perspective or idea, but 99% of the time they knew.

How can you recreate that?

The long-term game: work on your self-confidence. The more you trust yourself, the better you’ll be able to cut through the noise.

Short term: create a ritual
1 - Create your soundproof container.
This means taking time to pause and reflect and creating conditions to think through things, without judgment (external, or self-indulged).
Coaching is an obvious way, but it could also be scheduling a bi-weekly one-hour offline time where you write and reflect, it can be an open-hearted conversation with a friend, or mentoring...

2 - Once in that container, be bold, ask the right questions, challenge your thinking (or get someone to do it).

One nudge for you

This week, create a soundproof container you can use as a regular tool, and in case of emergency.

Goal: create a space to listen to your intuition and own advice.

Pick a format that works for you:

Some ideas

• Writing what’s at play, then using a red pen to correct the ideas that don’t align with your vision and intuition but rather align with validation seeking, or other external factors

• Alex Hormozi has an interesting technique of talking to his 85-yo-self, in a document, he’ll do the questions and the answers from his now-self, and his visualized 85-yo-self.

• Coaching is an obvious one

• Bi-weekly meeting with yourself, where you get offline and reflect

• Seeking mentoring (check out Growth Mentor)

• Talking to an imaginary friend, etc.

Questions for you

• What are you trying to achieve?

• What does it look like, feel like? Could it look differently and still feel this way? Which one matters?

• Does this idea, action, or behavior feel good in your body, or does your body feel tense?

• What’s blocking you?

• What’s your gut feeling on this? What are the reasons to not follow this gut feeling?

• How is your approach different from how other people do it? Why is their approach different (where’s the gap between your goals and their goals?)

• I’ll ask again, what are you trying to achieve here?

• What actions/behaviors align best with this?

If you’re new here, welcome! I’m Orianne, I share weekly tools to help you reduce overthinking and boost your self-confidence.

A bit more about me: I am a mindset coach. I coach brilliant humans who perform very well but want to improve their relationship with themselves (their minds).
I am a chocolate addict, live by the beach, and always read two books at the same time (currently The 10th Insight by James Redfield, & Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab)

If you enjoyed this newsletter, read the previous editions and subscribe here. If you’re ready for coaching you can book an intro call, and we’ll chat!