Worst jobs ever for perfectionists:
1 - Artist
2 - Entrepreneur
3 - Leader

Yet, if you’re reading this, you’re likely both a perfectionist and in one of these roles.

Here’s some brain-tickling info: most perfectionists happen to be high performers.

If you want to be perfect, why not stay in your comfort zone, at a place where you’ll forever excel?

The short answer: you’d be perfect at the task, but you would not be a perfect human… and, I mean what kind of perfectionist would you be if you were perfect in just one area?

Introducing Baptist the Perfectionist

It used to be Travis the Perfectionist, but then it did not rhyme, and would not be perfect…so, sorry to the Baptist out there.

Who’s Baptist the P.?

Voice in one’s head (persona), constantly pushing them to be perfect. Usually uses a whip (negative self-talk), as a way to get through.

The voice knows one can’t be perfect, yet they still want to try.

They work in a terrible trio with your inner critic and impostor syndrome.

“You suck at this” (inner critic) → “Everyone will find out soon” (Impostor syndrome) → “Let’s be perfect so no one finds out” (perfectionist) → fails to be perfect → “You suck at this”… on repeat

Why keep listening to Baptist?

If we can’t achieve perfection, if it makes us feel like failure, why listen?

Most perfectionist have ambivalent feelings about their perfectionism. In a sense, it slows them down, but they grip onto it as a safety net.

“My attention to detail, my desire to always do better is what led me so far in my career”

It did contribute. Now, it’s likely getting in the way.

Once you get to a career stage where your results don’t only rely on operational tasks mainly, it gets trickier.

There are too many contradicting forces to be perfect.

If you spend hours on one task, you’re not the perfect time manager, if you work extra hours, you’re not perfect at work-life balance, and don’t get me started on being a perfect manager.

What Baptist needs when he shows up

Nuance, a good sense of humor, and curiosity.

Can you be curious about your perfectionist? 
Baptist shows up as a way to avoid an uncomfortable feeling. Investigate that feeling and acknowledge it. (What am I feeling right now? What am I avoiding to feel?)

Can you add some nuance to the level of perfect you should be?
It will help you slowly phase out of perfectionism. (How about I prepare a bit less and see what happens? Is this necessary for the desired results or a mechanism to soothe my uncomfortable feelings?)

Can you gently make fun of the situation?
You want to be perfect, but you want to constantly take on new challenges where you won’t be perfect. It’s quite ironic. Can you gently smile at yourself when you fall into perfectionism, have a good laugh at how unrealistically high your standards are?

Questions for your perfectionist

• How would being perfect feel?

• What’s one thing I can do, outside of being perfect, to feel this way?

• What’s one area in which I spend a lot of time, trying to be as perfect as I can?

• How does spending a lot of time trying to be perfect in this specific area impact other areas of my life? Is it worth it?

One nudge for you

Disclaimer you may love this tool, you may hate it.

Play around with this tool to soften your relationship to your pitfalls.

I use Ofman Cadrant for clients’ self-awareness and a better understanding of their team members. It’s great for perfectionists as it shows how intertwined our qualities and pitfalls are.

Let’s take the example of a software engineer with great attention to detail.

• If they lean too much into that quality, they’ll be overly critical. Which creates delays in shipping products.

• Their challenge will be to accept imperfect but functioning to ship on time vs shipping perfectly with delay (be indulgent).

• They struggle to be indulgent because too much indulgence leads to sloppiness. It’s their allergy, the thing they don’t want to be and usually don’t like in others.

Fun tool, no?

Thank you for reading,

Orianne