The Simple Mind is a newsletter to help you reduce overthinking and boost self-confidence.

Ever have one of those weeks?

Feeling in over your head, no clear way forward, life seems to be stress-testing all your plans.

It’s one bad news after the other.

A warm lead ghosts you, tinder style. Your website crashes, your star employee gives notice, or your co-founder appears to be a stranger with a vision that could not be more different than yours... To add to the fun, maybe some personal stuff starts piling up.

It’s all a mess, you are a mess.

Your mind being in a pretty dark place, you struggle to see a clear solution. Nothing is working, you feel incompetent and wonder what the hell you were thinking launching your business or taking on that new role.

It’s frustrating. You want to move past this cycle, or frankly just go to bed and wake up when it’s all fixed. But hey, you’re the one who has to fix it.

So how do you push through when you hit a series of dark days?

You throw yourself a full-blown pity party

Pity party: an evening where you allow yourself to do nothing and feel sorry for yourself. A space to vent, rant, complain, let it all out. You can stay in bed, watch a stupid TV show, blame whoever you want to blame, listen to sad songs, scream, cry, or just stare at the wall for hours long (my personal favorite).

No phone, no solution seeking, just complaining, eating comfort food, and feeling sorry.

At the end of the evening, you go to bed. Ideally not too late, and start the next day with a workout to get the energy moving.

Why we love a pity party: A pity party isn’t just about wallowing; it’s about release.

It takes you from hanging on by a thread, ‘pushing through’ to gaining the clarity you need to ‘push forward’. Same effort, different energy.

Your problems are still there, but after letting yourself truly feel it, you’re able to approach them with a clearer head and renewed energy.

A pity party is hitting the reset button on your mind.

Pain is in resistance

Remember, what you resist, persist. So when you resist the bad days, and deny yourself the right to feel how much it sucks, you make it harder to move past it.

Pause for a moment, to let yourself feel the feelings associated with what happens. Giving yourself permission to be sad, shameful, angry, or whatever emotion pops up about the situation helps you move past it.

It gives your brain a break from solution-seeking, and that rest gives you the impulse for your next step.

When you stop resisting how you feel, you actually move through it quite fast. That’s why all you need is an evening.

But you have to go all in, no guilt, no self-shaming or judgment around how you feel.

Don’t be afraid you’ll overindulge. That’s the thing about pity parties, eventually, you process the emotion and feel tired of feeling sorry for yourself. You reach a quiet place of acceptance for the situation.

Your pity party is your self-made safe space to process all your emotions, and invite clarity. Once you’re in a different mindset, you’ll feel like yourself again, and the path forward will lighten up in front of your eyes.

So if you’re going through one of these weeks, buy the ice cream, find the saddest Spotify playlist, and just feel sorry for yourself. I promise you’ll feel better.

Orianne

PS: Know someone who’s feeling the weight of their latest business challenge? Forward this to them and give them permission to throw a well-deserved pity party. We all need it sometimes.

About me: I am an ex-Airbnb turned mindset coach. I support business owners (and future ones) in the many transitions of their business journey.

Running a business can be overwhelming and lonely. I act as your sparring partner to help you gain perspective, deepen your people skills, increase confidence and self-awareness.

Looking for a sparring partner? You can apply to my coaching program.